Flux

I'm not entirely sure what the last blog post was about. I'm so bad at blogging. On the one hand I feel like I have a lot of really hilarious stories and moments and really good tings to say and to write down but my ADHD is so bad that even if I remember what i was going to write I barely ever remember to actually sit down and write it.

It;s thew worst mix ever, being someone who loves to write and consistantly forgetting everything I want to write just as I sit down to write it if I remember to sit down to write at all.

I moved in with My sister recently in an effort to save money and really as a half way house between the apartment I shared with Chrispy and the house that I have been yearning to live in since I was forced to move out. Living here with her is, not for me what it is for her. she says it's like living in the dorms again and will be so cool and stuff and all it is for me is a huge cramped inconvinence.
What makes it worse is that I feel like i have no one to complain to. And like some sort of poorly built machine I have a venting shaft and it is called complaining. It's fun it's relieving and cathartic and I feel liek I have no one to complain to about how much I hate living here. Chrispy's granddad died yesterday, but he's hanging in but it just feels like we're sitting at the bottom of a big hole and we've tried everything but waiting to get out of it. And now we have to wait and the wait is fucking miserable.

I started listening to a podcast called "RISK" it's a story telling podcast and I absolutely love it. I want more stories for myself. I want to go out on the weekend and bar hop with a bunch of strangers and get out of some crazy stuff and have MORE stories to constantly laugh about. As soon as the hour is appropriate I'm going to walk over to charlie's and insist the two of us cause some trouble this weekend or at the worst at least by next weekend.

I am two semesters away from graduating. I don't feel scared by it coming up or terrified or worried. Just satisfied. I've had a great time in college and I've been here just long enough that I won't overly miss it nor will I feel I graduated too early or too late. Just in time I like to think. My last two semesters will be peaceful and filled with the stuff I want to do instead of papers and exams and worrying about things I'll be building and painting and creating things which is so much more fun than that math degree i foolishly thought I would be pursuing 7 year ago.

I'll go more into college the past 8 years what I think I've learned the most from hilarious and fucked up stories and so forth every day this week in an effort to make up for all the long wasted months of me not posting.

right now I think I'l stretch and look into taking a walk.. a nap or playing more League of legends.